Say What! Pt.1

Alright so I have gotten some questions, whether it was emails from people after they read my blog, my friends, direct messages on social media, or maybe even down to someone I am talking to in mid conversation. I decided since I was so passionate about my answers I would start to jumble my answers publicly once a month. If I have yet to answer your email be sure to check out my “say what” monthly because your answer may be in the mix!

When did single mothers start playing “the game”?

Honey, I have barely anytime to finish peeing before a child is screaming my name let alone, answering text messages, face timing, and swiping left or right on my damn phone to multiple people. I have time for one or most likely none. The absolute only way a mother is able to date multiple men in any occasion and with any circumstance is if they simply just aren’t a very good mom. I am still shocked I have found enough time to get a date or be with someone more than once this year. Yes, we can make time but remember that time is limited so most of the time that single mother is looking for the “numero uno”. If we wanted to be in this little dating game in the first place do y’all really think we would have our babies. We were set and determined for our little families to work out, at least I was. I hate everything about the dating scene, well except the other human interaction part of course! I am actually perfectly fine just texting one guy for the rest of my life and sleeping together when we have a chance.

How does one make a dating bio?

No seriously, If you got the dating app let’s not be stupid please. If you insist on even writing a bio please don’t say you’re looking for prince charming, or that you’re only here to find your soul mate next to a picture of you half naked. We all know what you’re here for, just stop pretending. Also if you’re a male and you are trying to be funny please don’t resort to talking about your last relationship because if we ladies are on there for that secret specific reason we surely do not want to end up in our bumble hive with a wee one, and bringing up your ex-girlfriends proves a wee too much. I tried my hardest to chalk up my dating apps to not having any time to date but as I was swiping left or right I realized there was only one thing I was looking for… Hot guys, I didn’t know nor was I able to justify why I was swiping right or left? In no way shape or form was I looking at my phone thinking:

Does this guy love God? Right

Does this guy love kids? Left

Does this guy enjoy late night walks? Left

Does this guy take care of his priorities? Left

Does this guy have a job? Right

Does this guy enjoy life? Left

People, come on, I was on them too I know what they are used for and sadly I will admit to my sins. All in all, there is no good way to make a dating bio. If I am honest “Just looking for someone to take naps and snuggle, maybe see where it goes” I now look like I slept with way more people than I actually have. If I say what I eventually want “I am just looking for someone to go on adventures with and be my plus one forever” Now I officially look like either a class five clinger or I am lying because they all know why I downloaded the app.

What does he mean when he says take things slow?

He doesn’t like you. No literally men don’t take things slow, even if they have children. I know this because statistically in my office before I wrote this blog I asked men and 10/10 said we are either in a relationship or we are out, there is no taking something slow. If he wants to take things slow with you this unfortunately means that he has absolutely no idea if he wants a relationship or not yet and he also has no idea if your worth taking him out of the game. Needless to say I did not specify when I said “HE” I am speaking on behalf of MEN, if we are speaking on terms of BOYS, they usually think in the same term as below.

What does she mean when she says take things slow?

Sadly, women are absolutely psychotic (We are not psychotic we are wired differently which in turn allows us to be strong enough to accept feelings) and that’s all of us not just one, so when she says she wants to take things slow this means they are either petrified of getting hurt, she has two kids and she feels like her life is a wreck and she doesn’t want to interrupt your life in any way (okay, that’s just me) or she could be the lesser of females and be just like the answer in the question above for males.

So if they want to take things slow, is that sexually?

Actually, I have yet to meet any human on this planet that out lived high school and says they want to take things slowly pertaining to sex unless of course you’re already having sex. I mean like during sex she or he may ask you to go slow, but that’s about it. Sex has absolutely nothing to do with taking a relationship slowly, We all want you in the aspect of sexual interaction so please don’t worry about that. For myself when I say I want to take things slow I mean when the encounter is over slide on over to your own side of the bed please its hot in this room and I only get every other weekend without children on me when I’m trying to sleep the last thing I need is you all cuddled up to me. I also mean don’t think your meeting my children anytime soon, they are sacred and I’m not a trashy mom, they are too important to me to be meeting every Joe blow I come across, do something spectacular you could potentially get the chance to meet them. Taking things slow to other woman and men, means we can hang out at night but I am not emotionally available for you and I really do not need you to consume all of my days.

Why did my significant other cheat?

Shockingly, I know very shocking but your significant other cheating on you sadly has ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with YOU and everything to do with the person who cheated. Men are in fact more likely than women to cheat, and yes it is a proven fact. Personality, those who have less conscientious are also more prone to cheating. Oddly, with all of the religious scams going on as a Christian I was even shocked by this one, but Religious belief, if you have a religious background and a moral compass you are less likely to cheat. A lot of people cheat because of situational reasons, maybe you are about to get married, or your having a baby, or you already had the baby and things are changing a little bit. The number one thing that shocked me completely looking at things on cheating was this… In a study of 495 adults, originally published in “The Journal of Sex Research,” 77% of participants reported that they’d cheated due to a “lack of love.” This meaning that they had already lied to you before when they said they loved you, or when they fell out of love they lied by simply not telling you. Either way this in turn still has nothing to do with you. I had so often internalized the chaos around me that I forgot to realize how good I was at standing in between it. I forgot that what other people do every day have absolutely nothing to do with what I do.

XoXo

TLoM

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